Ask For What You Really Want
It is said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again but expecting a different result. Many of us would say that we are not insane, yet we bang our heads against the obstacles of life, striving for the status quo, expecting that something will give. Be careful, your head is not made of steel. So not only are we insane, we are blinded to our insanity and we think everything is normal.
I have two children. They are very different from each other. One, my oldest, likes to joke around, play and have a good time. The younger is more serious in nature and tends to be much more sober minded. This can be a cause of many lively moments in my home as when the older child wants to play around and the younger is not in the mood, more often then not a confrontation results. Then one or both of the adults has to become a referee.
Point blank, I asked my oldest son if he was crazy. “Are you out of our mind?” He looks at me and in all seriousness says, “Maybe I am.” I ask him why he would think that was crazy and he says, “Because you keep asking me if I am!” After a little chuckle, I explain to him the aforementioned definition of insanity and I pose the question to him again. He says, “No, I’m not insane or crazy. I just want to play with my brother.” Of course in my heart I want to just grab him up and give him a hug, but instead I ask him if he ever thought to ask his brother if he wanted to play before just starting to play with him. Then the light bulb goes on! His face lights up and I can see that he was having a moment of clarity. A moment.
As adults we will often approach a situation, or relationship, in the same manner as we always do and hope that the result we want just happens. What usually results is us getting what we don’t want and feeling a little burned in the end. Now, something inside of us – many call it our gut instinct – will usually warn us that we won’t get the desired outcome, but instead we ignore it. Then we get upset when things don’t work out. In everything, ask for what you want, specifically. Don’t leave any room for guessing or interpretation.
You pray for friends and you get them, but you don’t like them. But all you said was you wanted friends. Not what kind of friends. You pray to get out of the rut you are in just to find yourself in a new rut. In this instance all you asked for was to get out of “this rut” instead of asking to break the pattern that keeps getting you into ruts.
Being specific will cause us to look a little deeper, maybe even be a little vulnerable, but you get exactly what you want and are better for it. So ask yourself, do I want to continue spinning my wheels in my rut, or do I want to move on in my life. We can continue to do the same things over and over again hoping for something different to happen or we can ask, “Will you play with me?”
