Al Flemming Life Coaching

Defeating Homophobia Through Accepting Yourself

Al — Fri, 28 May 2010 15:58:39 +0000

How many times have you had to tell another individual that you being gay does not mean that you are attracted to them? I know I have had to do this more than once in my life time. It usually happens during a seemingly everyday conversation with someone I just met or with whom I have a loose association. One example conversation went something like this:

Straight guy (SG): “So, what did you do this weekend?”
Me: “Oh not much, just hung out with my family and went to see a movie with my partner.”
SG: “That’s cool. What did you see, did she enjoy the movie too?”
Me: “We saw (insert movie title here). It was pretty decent. Yeah, he liked the movie too.”
SG: “Oh, um, that’s cool… You know that I have a girlfriend/wife, right?”
Me: “Well, yeah.”
SG: “Well, I’m not gay or anything or anything like that.”
Me: “What does that have to do with what I did this weekend? You did ask.”
SG: “I gotta go. I got some stuff I need to do.”
Me: “…”

That was pretty much the last conversation I had with that guy. I was dumbfounded as to the direction the conversation went in, and its abrupt ending. I had a pretty good inkling as to what was going on but let it go. Later, via a separate individual, my thoughts were confirmed. The guy was homophobic. As well, he thought that by me essentially outing myself to him, that I had developed a physical attraction to him.

With that said, while I don’t wear my sexuality on my sleeve, I don’t hide who I am, and when asked I don’t avoid the answer. I have become comfortable in my own skin. On the other hand, many men, straight and gay, are not. Not every gay man desires to have a sexual/romantic encounter, or a relationship, with every guy they see – including straight men. At the same time, men (and women) in general, have bought into a fairly twisted stereotype of what a man (or woman) is, does, and acts like. It is my belief that this skewed perception is more prevalent with straight guys, but there are a slue of gay men who go the extra mile to make it known that they are no sissy.

Our society — I’m mainly speaking of America — due to it’s myriad of influencers such as, religion, ethnicity, and cultural beliefs, is a very unique mishmash of ideals and individuals. Yet one thing has yet to prevail through out the entire fabric of our populace is tolerance. I would venture to say that a lack of personal tolerance, or acceptance, is one of the root factors.

Maybe I’m a little too optimistic, but I firmly believe that once individuals first become at ease with themselves, they then can become accepting of others. I’m not saying that we have to like everyone we meet. I am saying that our society would be much better if we could become tolerant of ourselves and others.

Fortunately for me, I have straight friends and family members that are accepting of who I am. I don’t have to hide or feel shame about any part of my life around them. I am free to be me. There are many gays who have the same freedom. Now, things did not happen overnight with everyone. It was a gradual process. Through love and understanding we were able to get to a place where what mattered was who we were in regard to our relationships with each other, not who it was that anyone of us slept with.

In the meantime, as I navigate life meeting new people and developing new relationships I do so with the confidence of knowing that I, and others, fully accept me for who I am. There is no need to worry about those who have not come to a point where they are comfortable with who they are, thus they feel uncomfortable around me. Being confident in knowing what my intentions are when I do approach people for conversation, networking, building friendships, etc., make life much easier to negotiate.

So, the next time you find that someone is not willing to have even a simple conversation with you because of their misconceptions of your intentions, just let it go. Be who you are, loving and accepting of yourself. That will shine through, and will attract to you others who are loving and accepting of themselves.

If you are still struggling with accepting who you are take comfort in the fact that you can get help. As a life coach I am skilled in helping you come to a place where you not only accept, but you love yourself too. The benefit of self approval is being able to put yourself on a journey where you accomplish the goals you have set for no one else but you. Make the decision to day to accept yourself. If you need help, contact me. It is my passion and mission to creatively teach people how to better themselves and to pursue their passions and goals.

Relieving And Coping With The Stress And Pressures Of Life

Al — Fri, 21 May 2010 14:54:14 +0000

Everyday we are faced with pressures in life that can cause stress. The pressure can be just about anything. The most common sources are, work, family, friends, ourselves, and those uncontrollable things that happen in life. Each of us deal with the pressures in our own unique ways. Usually, the source of the stress is how one will choose to deal with it. It is generally best to use methods that are healthy to deal with whats eating at you, but sometimes it is worked out in unhealthy ways that, in the long run, serve to make the situation worse. As well, our innate idiosyncrasies, any predisposition to mental disorders, or medical problems can effect how we face our stress. Regardless of these things though, we can learn healthy ways to tackle everyday pressures and stress.

As a life coach, I advocate the use of healthy and life sustaining methods for dealing with everyday pressures and stress. Some of these are not difficult to implement into your life, while others take a little more effort and/or time. Regardless, when you find what is helpful for you, they all will work if given due diligence and patience. Let’s take a look at a few.

Journaling
Going beyond just keeping a log of what’s happening in your life, use journaling as a way to express your feelings in detail like you would do with a therapist. Not only can journaling be used as a stress management tool, it can be uses as a way to self explore. You can then go back to previous entries to reflect on your progress, and to gain insight on solving current/new issues.

As well, journaling is visual helping you to “see” the issue(s) from a different perspective. Once you write things down, they are now “outside” of you, thus allowing you to step back from the situation so that you can begin to have an objective view of what’s going on.

Meditation
Our bodies have three physiological response to stressors: freeze, flight, or fight. As well we begin to experience a rush of hormones, like adrenaline and cortisol, that naturally aid in what or body believes to be a situation in which in needs to protect its self in order to survive. This is a good thing, but as we all know, too much of a good thing can be detrimental to our health. Meditation does the opposite. It calms us down and helps our body to repair the damage of a prolonged state of agitation.

When practiced often meditation can help to avoid additional physical, emotional, and mental breakdown to our body. Now, since it is a “practice”, for some people it may take them some time to get it down. But with patience and, if needed, guidance from someone who is experienced you can begin to realize the many positive benefits of making meditation regular part of your life.

Exercise
Whether is it walking, running, biking, hiking or some other from of physical movement, exercise is another good way to relieve stress. As well there are the added benefits of becoming more healthy, losing weight, and getting in better physical shape. Mental benefits, such as the reduction of anxiety and depression have been associated with exercise too. All of those things can help to provide confidence, self-esteem, and an overall feeling of well being.

Changing Your Perspective
If a source of stress for you is another person or other people, changing your perspective in regard to them can help to reduce stress. You can show them some empathy by attempting to understand what is causing them to act or respond in a negative way. This can help you to see ways to respectfully compromise with, or find a way to make the situation or circumstances a “win-win” for, all involved.

Be Assertive
This is not to be confused with being aggressive. Assertiveness helps you to uphold your rights and communicate your feelings, while appreciating the rights and feelings of others. For some being assertive comes naturally, but for others it is a skill that has to be learned. Understanding how you respond to criticism, your ability to say “no” when you should, how you communicate with others, and your ability to accept a differing opinion than that of your own, are good ways to begin to learn how to become assertive.

There are many more healthy and positive ways to learn how to cope with the pressures and stressors of life. Some of them, with out going it to detail, are developing a spiritual practice, listening to music, laughing, learning time management, eating healthily, taking naps, and getting an amount of sleep that is good for you. You can even to a combination of all of these things. The most important thing is to do what works for you, and do it as often as needed.

Hats or Labels: Which are you wearing?

Al — Fri, 14 May 2010 16:39:09 +0000

Years ago I learned that who I was had nothing to do with what I did. Instead, I was so much more than that. During that time I initially thought that I knew who I was, but I began to see I was living a facade. The person I believed to be me, was merely the labels of others that I allowed to define me. Many things were coming to an end very quickly at that time. I felt as though my life was in chaos. Realizing that I did not know who I was proved to be the catalyst for the upheaval that I was going through.

To say that “my world was spinning” would be an understatement. My downward spiral was due to the fact that I really did not know myself. I lived to please others and to receive their approval by doing what I thought would make them happy. In doing that, I thought would get them to love and accept me and then I would be happy. I was not people pleaser as it may seem. I was just very insecure. For years I had heard, and been told, “be yourself.” The problem with that was I didn’t understand what it meant to be myself. What I did know was if I became what others wanted me to be I then had a sense of purpose because people liked me. I was so lost.

That pivotal moment when I became aware that I could no longer live according the labels that were placed on me was both scary and liberating. Even though I was still very much uncertain of what the real me looked like, it felt like a ton of bricks were lifted off of me. If I were to say that it was easy to overcome the need to seek the approval of others; to stop accepting and living by their labels, I would be lying. It was through constantly reminding myself that I defined me that the journey to self approval got easier.

Today, instead of labels, I now wear hats (except for one and I’ll get that in a moment). I parent, I sing, I create art, I life coach, etc. Not always in that order, but these are actions and activities that I do. I am able to put on, or take off, these hats as needed. If it suits, I can wear more than one hat at the same time. The choices are endless. The choices are mine. The only label I choose to accept as who I am is authentic.

Regardless of the hat I wear. I choose to be authentically me. The man who makes mistakes and chooses to learn from them. The man who loves unconditionally. The man who chooses to express himself in as many creatively positive ways as he can. The man who approves of himself, no longer seeking the approval of others. The man who sometimes falls down, but always gets back up.

I challenge you to look at yourself. Are you wearing labels or hats? Do you approve of yourself or do you seek happiness through gaining approval from others? Have you defined yourself? If you struggling with, or find it difficult to even imagine, being on the journey to self-apporval, I am just a phone call away. I had/have a life coach and I do life coaching. I will not only help you to see that you can walk the journey of self approval, I will help you begin to walk it.

Keep Living; Live Forward!

Don’t Suffer In Silence

Al — Sat, 08 May 2010 19:45:57 +0000

Photo Courtesy of Matthew Maaskant - www.qr5.org

Recently, I awakened with a song in my head. One that I had not heard in years. The first, and I believe the only time I heard it, was when I was in 1992 my freshman year in college. I had to find out where I could get the song so I could listen to it again. I soon found, thanks to Google and iTunes, that the song is called “Suffer In Silence” by singer Susan Ashton.

A friend of mine that I have know since I was 15 or 16 years old, had recently gotten back in touch with me. During the course of our correspondence with each other we began to take trips down memory lane. Laughing at ourselves and at the good times that we had.Then, one morning, my friend sent me an email with their phone number included and asked me to call. There was something that they wanted to tell me in person, but it became apparent to them that they needed to tell sooner. Being that my friend has cancer, I could understand why they would not want to wait to see me sometime in the future. Not knowing what it was that I was going to be made privy, I just put it from my mind and went about my day until the time came to talk.

When I made the phone call I began to think, more out of curiosity than worry, what is it that my friend wanted to tell me. We began our conversation with the usual greetings and pleasantries. But not wanting to take too long to get to the reason why we were talking on the phone, my friend began to tell me what was on their mind and heart.

The news was, at first, and little unnerving. Upon hearing it I had to sit down and take a few breaths to quickly center myself. Then we went on with our conversation. As I was settled from the news, I turned the conversation back to what I was told. I could tell by my friend’s breathing that they were hesitant to go back to the initial topic. But when I let them know that I was happy that they told me what was pressing so heavy on their heart, and that I would gladly help them to healthily carry the burden, they where very relieved. For so long they had been carrying this issue, but now they had told someone who was understanding and very non-judgmental. Now they had someone to share with as needed.

Heart in a bottle, high on a shelf, fragile but just out of reach
‘Cause you build a fortress with the distance you keep
But when your heart aches, doesn’t it cut deep?

Well, you don’t have to suffer, suffer in silence
You don’t have to suffer, suffer in silence
Don’t you know that your heart can feel like an anchor
When you keep it all inside
No don’t, don’t suffer in silence.

Withered with sadness, hurting inside
But feeling afraid to impose
So you’re an island, but you don’t have to be
‘Cause if you’re inclined you can talk to me.

But, you don’t have to suffer, suffer in silence
You don’t have to suffer, suffer in silence
Oh, I know that the pain can seem like an ocean but I’m just a word away
No don’t, don’t suffer in silence.

It was the very next morning after talking with my friend that the song popped into my head. I realized that when I initially heard the song so long ago, the only thing that really stuck out to me was the chorus. “…you don’t have to suffer, suffer in silence.” What I did not know was that this song would become a part of my motivation for wanting to help people and for being a life coach.

Should you be thinking that you would like help getting your life on track, and can see that need for enlisting my help as a life coach, don’t hesitate to contact me.

Keep Living; Live Forward!
Suffer In Silence – Susan Ashton – © 1991 Sparrow Records

It’s Just One of “Those” Days

Al — Fri, 23 Apr 2010 20:14:11 +0000

“Our real blessings often appear to us in the shape of pains, losses and disappointments, but let us have patience and we soon shall see them in their proper figures.” ~ Joseph Addison

Have you ever had one of “those” days in which you thought you had the day pretty much planned out from start to finish, but it just did not quite turn out the way in which you planned? You know what I am talking about. One of “THOSE” days. The ones in which it feels like you are pushing or pulling with every fiber of your being for it to go “right”/the way that you planned. The only thing is that it seems as though the Universe has something else in store and since it is bigger than you are, it wins.
It’s on those days the lessons of accepting and surrendering to what “is” becomes very apparent. Once that occurs, whether what you had planned happens or not, is when we find the most grace, and the blessings that we so need, and/or desire, come to us. The fighting, pushing and pulling, to make the day go your way only results in pain, losses, and disappointments. We can still learn, if we so choose to stop and see the lesson, but why make it an unpleasant experience?

So, I have learned that if I just slow down, maybe even take a break, and accept that my way is not the way to go that day, I see that something else that needs to occur has space to happen. It can be something that I need to do for myself that I have overlooked. It can be that one or both of my children need so desperately to spend time with me. Maybe it is just a time to surrender and graciously let the Universe have its way. Or simply, what I wanted to be may not be what’s best for me.

It’s funny to me, but my partner says when he has one of “those” days he begins to think that all he wants to do is go home and just sit. Like he is trying desperately to finish something at work, or he is trying to get somewhere on time, and there are constantly obstacles in the way of him accomplishing his task. But I know what he is really saying is that he has decided that it is time to surrender to what “is” and stop fighting. It’s not just giving up, but realizing that there is something else at work and what is needed is to let things be or take a break; center yourself and listen to what the Universe is trying to tell you. There is a lesson in just about everything we do everyday. It is our choice as to whether or not we want to see the lesson and learn from it.

So, I figure that I want to have more blessing in my life. If that means that every once in a while I need to just stop and let what is have its way, then so be it. It has taken a while, but I have become comfortable with letting go of what I think should be, and letting the Universe teach me whatever it is that I need to learn, or to just bless me. I challenge you to learn to “let go and let God” as well. The ease and grace that you will experience will be just what is needed for you at that time. Plus, you won’t use so much energy and waste so much time, trying to fight a losing battle!

Keep Living; Live Forward!

Never Give Up!

Al — Fri, 16 Apr 2010 14:28:22 +0000

“If you must begin then go all the way, because if you begin and quit, the unfinished business you have left behind begins to haunt you all the time.” ~ Chögyam Trungpa

My Granny used to say, “Finish what you start!” It didn’t matter what it was for either. I could be eating something and not want the rest of my food and I would be told I had to finish it. My Grandmother was adamant about me finishing school, my homework, my piano lessons, (Of which I did not finish, and yes it haunts me!), etc. She was the type of woman that once her mind was made up on something she saw it through to the end. It was one of her missions, I believe, in life to instill the same tenacity in her family.

Needless to say, it took until my adulthood to really get that lesson. But once I had enough things haunting me because I did not see them through, I started to get the point. It is important to see things through to completion, not just so they don’t bug you for the rest of your existence, but also it shapes who you are as a person and helps you to build your self-esteem. You can say, “Wow, I’ve accomplished my task! I feel really good about that!” Then it is off your mind and away you go to the next feat you will accomplish.

Life can be likened unto a series of steps that you take to get to your ultimate goal. The goal, is to complete life knowing that you have lived out your purpose, or calling. You maybe thinking that you have no clue as to your purpose in life. That’s OK. You don’t have to sweat that, you just have to live the best life you can. Everyone is called to do that. The best way to accomplish that is to learn to fully love and accept yourself and others around you. Once you start to do that, the rest works out on it’s own.

Before she died, my Granny lived. I mean LIVED! She struck out on her own somewhere between the ages of 16 – 18. My family is not sure because my grandmother would never tell us exactly when she left home, and those who really knew had passed on or would not tell us. That really does not matter though. The point is she was determined to live full out, and boy did she! She is not famous for anything, except being a living saint and a shining example of how to be love, and that was enough for her to touch the heart of everyone that she met. She worked hard and loved all the more. What a legacy!

Because my grandmother didn’t give up on her goals, and dreams – she finished what she started – she left a family that still feels her love even though she is not physically with us today. That is how to live. That is how I want to live.

Do you have a goal in mind? Do you have a task that you are doing in which you feel like giving up on? Do you feel like giving up on yourself, or life? I encourage you to keep at it. Learn to love yourself, and use that love to give you the courage and determination to keep going. The bottom line in all of this is, if you give up on what you started, you give up on yourself. If you don’t love and believe in you first, no one else will.

Need a little help with learning to love yourself or living fully? Contact me for your free discovery coaching session today! http://alflemming.com/contact Life coaching is a great way to help you finish what you started!

Get Unstuck: Address Your Inner Self

Al — Fri, 09 Apr 2010 23:44:27 +0000

Ever felt stuck? Have you ever felt like you were not getting anywhere or as soon as you make a step or two forward you get pushed back into the same drama and junk of which you were trying to escape? It’s pretty frustrating isn’t it?It is like having a junker of a car and making some cosmetic changes to it, cleaning up some rust, and putting a little paint on it. Maybe bang out a few dents, and change the hubcaps. It looks a lot better now. It’s a car that you wouldn’t mind being seen in now. But wait, you’re feeling good and you decide to clean it up a little on the inside. So you wash the inside of the windows, and clean up the upholstery some. Maybe you even wash the floor mats. Now you’re really getting somewhere! This is a car that not only do you not mind being seen in, you want to drive it. So you do. You put the key in the ignition, turn it to crank the engine and it starts! Yeah, you got some wheels.

But the story is not done yet. You see, one day you are out on the road and all of a sudden the car just stops. You try everything that you can think of, but no go. So, you call the tow truck to take it to a mechanic. He pops the hood and looks at the engine, then gets underneath and checks more stuff out. He really gives it a thorough inspection.

So now you are really wanting to know what’s going on with your car. You find out that there was a couple of things going on. You had a hole in one of the hoses that runs from the radiator to keep the engine cool, and there was an oil leak too. So, your nice cleaned up car is still just a junker. A clean and shiny junker, but a junker all the same.

You see, the real work that needed to be done, the inner work, was never even started. The car that you took the time to work on externally still had things that did not work properly on the inside. This is why you can get very far in life, accomplish all the goals that you ever set for yourself, even make a lot of money, and have tons of influence, but you’re unhappy and don’t really even like yourself.

When you spend your time working on and striving for all the external things, yet never working on the internal, you will always find yourself right back at square one. Try all you want to avoid doing the inner work and making real change in your life; you will always come back to the same ruts regardless of how much you accomplish. I know from experience.

Getting unstuck, advancing on your life journey, means addressing your inner self. Real change starts on the inside. It starts by checking out all of the belts and hoses. Ensuring first that all of the nuts and bolts are tightened properly and all the seals are good. Then you can address the outside of the car and all of the rest that goes along with pimping your ride. As humans, our outer changes are manifested by our inner changes. You would never even have to tell anyone you have changed because it will just show.

Take courage in knowing that working on yourself from the inside out will never be in vain. You won’t find yourself stuck on the side of the road wondering how you ended up there after all of the time you took to work on yourself. Your effort won’t be in vain. Inner work/change will be the best thing that you could ever do for yourself.

Becoming “The Catch”: Finding The Mate of Your Dreams

Al — Fri, 02 Apr 2010 18:24:01 +0000

Often I hear from friends, family, and people just in passing, how much people desire to find the perfect mate for themselves. It seems that many people desire to have someone that will be their confidant, best friend, soul mate, etc. The list can go on. A question that goes along with the desire is: What is it that I am doing, or not doing, to make this happen for me? What and I not doing right?
Well, there are a multitude of answers to this question, but I find the one that fits the best usually has to do with you, the person searching. Happiness is fleeting when pursued. But by doing things that help to make you a better person, and by helping others we find happiness. Being something that is external to ourselves, happiness comes and goes. Many think that when they find a mate they will be happy; that they have finally found “the one” and all is going to be well now. What a fairytale! No one, but you, can make you happy. A mate won’t do it, and it is unfair to put this choice/burden on some else’s shoulders.

I’ve learned that to really find the best suited mate, was to stop looking for them. At the same time, becoming comfortable with yourself and learning how to create your own joy and happiness, is what will attract quality people to you. It is in loving yourself and enjoying your single life that the perfect person will just walk into your life. Now that was partially correct. But there was another caveat missing.

You see, becoming comfortable with, and learning to love, yourself is just the first step. If you cannot love yourself, how else can you love someone else? The second step is to embody the characteristics and qualities that you desire to have in a mate. This is basic law of attraction. If you put out what you desire, it will be returned to you. Or as the Bible said, what you sew, so shall your reap. So, you should not plant sunflower seeds if what you really want is petunias.

Let’s reiterate here. If you desire to have a kind, compassionate, warm, and loving mate who will love and stay with you through thick and thin, you need to be that way yourself. Embodying the characteristics and qualities that you are looking for will attract just that to you. It’s that simple.

As well, embodying the characteristics that you are looking for make you “the catch”. You won’t have to worry about looking for someone, they will come to you! Now that is awesome. As you begin to develop confidence in who you are, and and begin love and respect yourself, you start to become more attractive. You start to stand out from the crowd so you can “be found” by the mate that you desire.

In recapping, the simplest way to find the mate of your dreams is to:

stop pursuing them
start to embody the characteristics and qualities that you want in a mate
make yourself “the catch”

We can get way more complicated with this, but why? The simpler you keep in the easier it is to do.

Happy attracting!

Get In To Win!

Al — Fri, 26 Mar 2010 16:57:21 +0000

“You may never know what results come from your action. But if you do nothing, there will be no result.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi

Have you ever wanted to take some type of action but did not? How did your lack of action make you feel? For me, if I have a situation in which I think, ‘I should have done something’, I tend to feel bad about my inaction. Now, there are times when it is best to do nothing in a situation, but for myself, I have found them to be rare.

When I was younger I would get upset if I felt as though I did not get my fair share of something or that I was overlooked in a situation. In those times, I would talk to my grandmother or another caring adult and the message that they all would give me was the same: Speak up for yourself because no one else will. As I got older, if faced with a situation or circumstances in which I did not speak up, I would hear those voices from my childhood still compelling me to say/do something for myself. There was no getting around it.

Now, in my adulthood, I do speak up more for myself and my desires. If my partner has made a decision that doesn’t sit well with me, or my children have not done something I have asked them to, I speak up. If I don’t like something that is happening in my neighborhood, community, city, or state I contact the appropriate officials and let them know how I feel. I do something.

I hear many people in, and allies of, the LGBT community complain about the many injustices that we face here in the U.S. But, some of the simple things that can be done to help rectify the situations are not. Many of us sit idly by and hope that someone else will speak up for us. But what we must remember is that we have our own voice that we can use, instead of letting others speak for us.

Just like many people in the past such as Audre Lorde, Bayard Rustin, Harvey Milk, and others who have spoken up for the LGBT community – and those who currently do – letting your voice be heard, can make a huge difference. Then, when combined with the other voices who are speaking up about the same issues, a difference is made. But if no action is taken, nothing is done.

It takes courage to speak up for yourself. It also takes practice. Just like anything else, take baby steps at first. Then as you get better, take larger steps. Shout even! We can make a difference and see that our rights are granted to us. We will see the injustice turned around to justice. But we have to let our voices be heard. The small amount of people who are currently in the fray need some back up. So, let all of us in the LGBT community lift our voices and be heard! We can’t win until we get in the game.

There Is Hope: Depression/Anxiety In The GLBTQ Community

Al — Fri, 19 Mar 2010 17:00:57 +0000

Depression and Anxiety run rampant in the GLBTQ community. Factors contributing to this include feeling invisible, feeling/being unsupported, and being isolated from family, friendships, and society in general. We deal with prejudice and even harassment, some of us, on a daily basis. I have even been harassed by another shopper while at a local shopping center. It all started by me speaking to a lady that was taking a long time in the parking space next to me with her car door ajar. I asked politely if the lady could briefly close her car door so that I could get out of my car. She responded very rudely and started to call me derogatory names. The harassment then continued from the parking lot into the store with her then searching me out and attempting to run me down with her shopping cart. Several people were so embarrassed for her that they apologized to me for her rude behavior.That one experience that I had was small compared to what others have gone through and some still go through today. But it was still very hurtful and degrading. Things like this and, as mentioned earlier, being isolated from family and society, being unsupported, etc., leads to a very depressed and anxiety ridden life. It can, and often does, lead to consideration, attempts, and sometimes the success of suicide.

But there is hope. There are many organizations, individuals and ways to help GLBTQ people to cope with and hopefully even overcome depression and anxiety. Help can be found by:

1. Finding a supportive therapist/counselor

2. Taking advantage of the services of a Life Coach in conjunction with a Therapist – this should be done with the support of your therapist and/or if you have become stable enough, through therapy, to stand strong in the face of adversity.

3. Finding a support group – search in your local area, find a community online, seek help from bigger organizations that support the GLBTQ community

4. Believe in yourself – you are number one and the only one who really has your best interest at heart.

In my dealings with depression and anxiety, especially in regard to sexuality, I have learned that acceptance of myself was paramount and more important than anyone else accepting me. Secondly, getting myself out and around people like myself helped to eliminate feelings of isolation. I cannot stress enough, firstly belief in yourself is paramount, then get yourself around people like yourself who can understand and support you.

You can overcome depression and anxiety. But it takes action. You have to choose to take and stay committed to the steps that are necessary to create the change that you desire. With the help of qualified professionals – therapists, counselors and life coaches – and the encouragement of those who understand, your life will change.

If you are ready to take the next step in taking control of your life, and have begun or are working through your deeper issues with a therapist/counselor, contact me for a FREE Discovery Coaching session. Let’s discuss how we can work together to help you life a life full of passion and purpose.

Keep Living; Live Forward!